Motivational Monday #18

I'm going to get started straight away...

Do you know what we're obsessed with?

No, not looks.

No, not money

No, not love

Age.

We, as a society, as a generation are obsessed with age.

I hold my hands up and confess - I too, have been one of those who have let my age define me or let my age be a main concern, rather than living for the now.

I, like many, many others (including people I know) have allowed age to become a barrier and it's own goal when it comes to our lives and how we live them. We must strive to be a certain person, be somewhere or do something by a certain age.

I must be engaged by the time I'm 25

I must own my own house by the time I'm 30

I must be in my dream job by 40

I have to have children by the time I'm 28

If you're sat there either agreeing with any of these statements or have had moments where you have thought the same thing or something similar - then you too, have been caught up in the whirlwind of needing to be something or be somewhere by a certain age.

We need to stop.

Since when has it been ok for others and ourselves to pressurise or torment one another to be married, engaged, parents, owning our own homes, in a perfect career, travel etc... by a certain age?

All the things I have listed above are things we all want. They are all things we strive towards and feel are the next steps/levels in our lives by certain points.

Be ambitious.

Be determined.

Make goals and dreams.

Do whatever it takes to get to where you want to be.

Be whoever you want to be and take all the steps you feel necessary to get there.

Just don't put a final end to them all. Don't set an age limit.

Don't let your age define you.

If you're not married by the time you're 25 - fine!

If you don't own your own home by the time you're 30 - fine!

If you still haven't found out what you want to do with your life or what career you want - fine!

Haven't travelled enough - fine!

Haven't found the man/woman of your dreams - fine!

You're fed up with your life and need to do something new - fine!

These are all FINE!

You are FINE!

These things will happen. We just need to let them when they are supposed to happen, not when we think they should happen.

Your age does not define you, your life or what you do with it/how you live it. It's just a number.

I have been that person who has put myself under a lot of pressure, and eventually sent myself into a world full of stress, anxiety and upset because I couldn't think of a way of how to do something or be somewhere by the time I was a certain age. 

I had started my new job and felt the need to do something incredible with my money. I set myself a goal of owning my own house by the time I was 23/24 years old - that's only 2-3 years away. I was determined that this was what I was supposed to do. But then I realised I'm SO young (even though sometimes I don't feel or act like it) if I bought a house that young, on my own, that house would define me. I wouldn't be able to go out with my friends, or buy new clothes or go on holiday as this would be the only thing I would be able to afford, and I wasn't prepared to lose my 20s over it. So, I decided that I'm still going to be sensible and put my money away, and one day I WILL own my own home, but not right now. 

When I do own my own home, it will be because it is the right time and place for me. Not because of how old I am. I know we all get a little stressed out and upset sometimes over not being somewhere or being someone who we thought we were going to be. We all like to plan our future, and now we have one and that's good. It's good to have plans, dreams and goals. But just let them happen naturally. If you want something so bad it will happen, because you want it too and will stop at nothing to get it. Not because you're at a certain age in your life and you feel you should have it or it should have happened.

Chill.

Everything will work out.

Right now, I couldn't care less whether I wasn't married

whether I owned my own home or not

Or was in my dream job

by the time I was 100 as long as I was happy, healthy and surrounded by people I love. 

And I am. 

I am happy,

I am healthy,

And I am surrounded by the most incredible people who make me smile every single day.

Surely, that matters more? 

So, stop getting so bogged down with being somewhere or being someone by the time you're 25, 30 or 40 - just enjoy the life you have right now and appreciate the moments and people you have in your life as they are more important.

Enjoy your life.

Hopeful

xxx

Outfit post #29

Hello my lovelies :)

Hope you've all had a fabulous week.

How glorious is the weather in Manchester today? Absolutely beautiful. I wish I could just jump in my car, drive to somewhere really pretty, have a little picnic and enjoy the sunshine - however, all my friends are in the middle of exams or work unsociable hours/weekends so I am sat doing my blog instead. No regrets here though!

So, I've been a little delayed on my outfit posts as to be quite honest, I'm running out of clothes!! Literally my worst nightmare. I'm having to dig out really old clothes and try and re-jig them into something fabulous - a lot of hard work!

I don't know about anyone else but I just haven't seen anything I like. When I'm shopping I like to find items and clothing that wows me. Something that I just HAVE to have, no questions asked, but there's been nothing. Everything I have tried on has left me uninspired - rubbish I know. I'm just going to have to keep looking.

Anyway, here are my outfits for this week - hope you like them and I'm sorry if there are any items you have already seen.

Dress - ASOS, Shoes - Topshop & Hat - Ebay

I love this dress (I also have it navy blue) they still sell it on ASOS in a variety of colours, so I think I need to add some other colours to my collection. They are super flattering and are perfect for a glamorous day look. Like I've mentioned before, I love the 50s and this dress complements that era perfectly.

Skirt - New Look, Jumper - Car Boot Sale, Shoes - Office

I have had this skirt for absolute donkeys years and found it in the back of my wardrobe the other morning. I love navy as a colour, but don't wear enough of it! This jumper is actually glittery (but it's really hard to picture) and is the comfiest jumper I have ever owned. I hate feeling itchy in jumpers, but this one is perfect. These leopard print heels I snapped up in the Office sale a few years ago & I have never looked back. They are pretty comfy and are the perfect height to be worn in the daytime.

Dress - Matalan (includes belt)

This is one of my most recent purchases. I find Matalan to be a very hit and miss store - sometimes they have lots of lovely stuff and then sometimes they have nothing. I came across this dress, and I just had to have it!! Not only was it polka dot (my all time favourite pattern) it was the perfect length and fit. Well, I say perfect fit, I have a serious case of squashed boob in it but it's something I put up with!!

Dress - Topshop, Heels - Office and Necklace - Primark

I adore this dress. This was originally bought for my 19th Birthday night out - which was two and a half years ago, shock horror! It still looks great on and is perfect for the spring/summer months. I love the colour - orange is easily one of my favourite colours as it complements my complexion and hair colour nicely. I'm so glad I dug this out again after all those years.

Dress - RMW London

This is one of my all time best purchases. I found a little online boutique called RMW London which is run by an absolutely gorgeous blonde lady, who gives great customer service. I've had this dress for ages and I feel amazing every time I wear it. You can't see very clearly but it has one sleeve, and a high neck - it's lovely and so different. I've never seen anyone else out in anything like it.

Skirt - Matalan, Crop top - FREDs Boutique (Urmston) & Shoes - Primark

I have had this skirt for a while and always forget I have it. It's pretty in line with the 50s style and goes with all sorts of different tops/shirts. This crop top is my fave, its a t-shirt material, so it's very comfy and easily put with a lot of different outfits. I love the pop of colour with this outfit, it just brings something different to it rather than wearing all black as usual.

Dress - ASOS & Shoes - Office

I adore this dress. I love the colours, I love the fit and I love what it looks like on. Unfortunately, this can only come out when it's sunny/warmer. Which today is - yay! It's so nice to be wearing colours rather than my usual, go-to black and white. These shoes are gorgeous, again can only really be worn in the warmer months. They are pretty uncomfy, so you couldn't walk far in them but at least they look pretty. I'm so glad I'm still at the point in my life where I wear things for how they look, not how they feel. Dreading when that moment comes.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend lovelies!

Hopeful

xxx

Opinion post: The no make-up selfie craze

Now, you've probably all heard and seen that the no make-up selfie craze has flooded all our social news feeds. And if you haven’t it goes a little something like this…

Women are uploading their bare faced selfies onto their social networking sites (mainly Facebook) and nominating their fellow female friends to do the same in order to raise awareness of Cancer/Cancer Research. Men have also jumped on this band wagon by uploading selfies IN make-up – all a little bizarre? Yes. All for a good cause? Hell yes.

Personally, I’m always game for a social media craze – something that I can join in on, enjoy and encourage my friends to do as well, what could possibly go wrong? However, this latest online phenomenon has received very mixed reviews.

There has been support. Women are using these no make-up selfies in ways of empowerment. Empowering and encouraging one another to showcase their insecurities by stripping the make-up off and posing for a selfie. There is also the empowerment women are bringing on themselves. The feeling of achievement and joy at what they have just done, and knowing they are beautiful regardless of what society says. There’s also the support that it has shown for those who are suffering or have suffered from the horrible disease, most of which who are closest to their hearts. The feeling of community it has provided is huge – as women from all walks of life are uploading these selfies with only love and support in their hearts. No vanity – hardly anyone wants to upload a picture of their make-upless face in order to get as many ‘likes’ as they can. This has been done because it’s actually a simple and nice way of showing our support.

There have been the women who have turned it around. The ones who not only upload a no make-up selfie, but also donate at the same time. These women are showcasing that the two can become one in this raising awareness campaign. Also, it doesn't matter whether or not you do both or one or the other – you’re still helping.

However, there has been the backlash. There have been huge amounts of frustration and anger towards this latest campaign.

Frustration from those who do not understand or can’t see why uploading a selfie can help the cause.

Anger from those who are suffering from cancer.
Anger from those who have lost loved ones because of this disease.

Each pleading for us to donate our money to Cancer Research or The Christie and help beat cancer quicker.

Now, first of all, I understood the frustration and anger and condoned those to feel that way. As, I too, have dealt with cancer scares and have lost many loved ones to this disease. No amount of make-up selfies would bring them back or stop the suffering. The huge amounts of negative statuses that have been posted all over Facebook has almost been as much of a phenomenon as the selfie, but as I was going through them and reading each one – I didn't find myself nodding along or agreeing with what was being said. 

I found myself disagreeing. I found myself laughing to myself at every single person – whether angry status or selfie upload – as every single one of you have contributed to this campaign. In actual fact, campaign is the term I use loosely. As this actually wasn't a campaign set up by any cancer charities, this was brought to life by the general public, which in itself is pretty impressive.

So, those of you who uploaded selfies – well done! Good for you! You have not only contributed to a very successful, public born campaign but you are raising awareness, whether or not it is positive or negative.

Those of you who uploaded a selfie and donated – congrats! You've not only become part of this phenomenon and helped build an online community, but you've also donated to worthy charities that deserve all the donations they can get.

To those of you who donated in anger thinking you were doing more than everyone else, to those who posted negative comments and statuses – well done! You did exactly the same thing as those who uploaded selfies; you raised awareness and encouraged more people to donate.

It’s got to be said, each and every single one of you have done amazingly well and have actually made a difference. Amazingly, Cancer Research and The Christie have received an amazing amount of success – FOR FREE! Free advertising, free marketing, free awareness and more importantly an influx of donations.

Overall, at this point 1 million pounds has been raised! Absolutely incredible.
Alongside the 5 million that was raised through the Dryathlon - we, the general public, have done something incredible and should be proud.

We all need to realise that we’re pretty incredible beings. When we team together, we can achieve amazing things and really make a difference.

Just stop the negativity – be more supportive, be more positive and be more involved. Stop trying to be the exception to the rule, just go with it and see what you can do.

Well done everyone! We really have made a huge difference – let’s keep going.

Here's my donation!

P.s. ignore all those little boys who have been putting nasty, shallow comments and messages – we’re clearly a lot stronger and empowering than what they’ll ever be!

Motivational Monday #17

Slap my wrists for I have been a terrible blogger - I haven't done a Motivational Monday blog post in a long time! But luckily for you I have a handful of topics I would like to write about, so hopefully I'll make up for it.

Ok, so this blog post is going to be about break ups. Eugh.

I know what you're all thinking, really? But this is something I feel needs to be discussed in a more casual, friendly manner. Plus, I don't feel like magazines articles or self-help websites cover in the correct way.

Don't pretend you haven't. We've all done it. We've all googled 'How to get over a break up' and every article, blog and book says something different, and ultimately they just tell you in the end that there is no 'quick fix' and you will 'just get over it'.

I'm not here to tell you anything different, because it literally is as simple as that. You will get over it one day. One day you'll just wake up and you'll feel less shitty than the day before.

No, this blog post is going to be about letting you know the natural things to do and feel during a break up, and to let you know that it's ok to do them all.

So, here goes nothing;

1) Crying. Crying a lot.

You will cry. You will cry a lot. For hours, days, weeks and maybe even months. You will wail, sob, tear up and one lonely tear will leave your eye at any given moment. This is normal. This is ok. You cry your bloody out! Whether you've been with someone for 2 minutes, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years - break ups suck! Don't listen to anyone who tells you to stop crying, if you want to cry, then cry. This doesn't last forever, but it will last while so you may as well milk it for all you can. Watch girly films, look at pictures of cute puppies and kittens, read sad stories, do anything you want to justify why you want to cry, but just do it. Seriously, there's no point keeping it all in. Like the saying goes - better out than in!

2) Surround yourself with people you can trust.

You may be sat here thinking 'well, durh!' but believe me, this is an important one to mention. If you're like me you have many friends, from all over the board. From school, college, uni, work and people you've just kind of met randomly. Does this mean you can trust them all? No! Absolutely not!

It doesn't matter how many friends you have, there will only be a select few who you can trust with everything. These are the ones who will bring you up when you are down, listen and offer advice when needed. You do not need people who speak down to you or choose sides. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and will make your break up feel like swimming down river - effortless.

3) Question your life.

I don't mean you should question your life. 

You WILL question your life - it's just what you do. The amount of times I have questioned what I have done, even the small things - after every break up I have had, I change my hair - as if I feel like this will change everything (it doesn't). You're also allowed to do this. Tell people you're unhappy, tell people you want to do something different with your life, tell people you want to be single forever - do and say whatever it is to make this feel easier for you. In the end, you will realise that your life is absolutely fine the way it is, and nothing needs to change. If anything, letting go of this person who clearly wasn't right for you is all the change you need.

4) Miss them.

This happens too. Whether you know it was the right thing to do or there was no foreseeable future with them, or even you just didn't love them anymore. You will miss them. Again, you're allowed to do this. All the self-help articles tell you not to do this, and to get up and do something to take your mind of it, but this doesn't stop your brain from thinking or your feelings from, well, feeling. This just keeps you occupied enough to not miss them every single minute of every single day. However, it is important to realise that you missing them is not because you have made a mistake and you want them back. You miss them because your routine has been changed - we don't always adapt to change very well and we crave something we know well and are familiar with. Don't worry, this one sorts itself out too.

5) The world has ended.

It hasn't. End of.

6) Radical choices

Whether this is through shopping and spending all your money on new clothes to make you feel better about yourself, starting to get fit - exercising and eating better, changing your appearance (like I said before, mine was my hair), starting a new hobby, booking a holiday, etc... you will do at least one of these things, if not all of them. It is really easy to run away from what is happening right now, and doing something that we wouldn't normally do or what we think we should do. Go right ahead, be my guest. I have done pretty much all of the above and will do it every time I break up with someone! Do something radical, because it will make you feel better, if even for a split second.

7) Rationalise it

You will fight until the ends earth to rationalise why you did it. You will seek advice from your friends, rant and rave to them about how awful he/she was or how useless he/she was, how he/she wasn't the man/woman of your dreams etc... You will find every quote under the sun (like the ones in this blog post) and think to yourself 'YES! That is SO true! I better Instagram that for everyone to see how I am feeling and how over this break up I am' Yep, we all do it or have done it. This is ok too, you might feel like a bit of a tit afterwards, but it's still ok.

8) Look at your phone all the time to see if they have text.

They haven't. 

Don't you bloody text them either! Don't do it!

You will. No matter what anyone says. Especially when your drunk.

9) Rebound.

Yep, you will find a rebound guy/girl. You will meet someone on a night out, be introduced by mutual friends, or it will be the guy/girl you have secretly had a crush on for a long time. Whether you just have a cheeky kiss, or end up in bed together or not even doing anything with them, just thinking about them. They are the ones who for a moment make you forget about the ex and make you feel like a new woman again.

P.s. this never lasts. Do not get into a relationship with this person, they have served their purpose so leave them at the door.

10) You'll be ok.

You will. No matter how long it takes, or how you feel in the mean time. You will be ok. 

In fact, you'll be more than ok. 

You'll be yourself all over again. 

You'll learn from your previous relationship, to be better in your next.

You'll concentrate on your work/studying because you realise it actually is important.

You will spend a lot more time with your friends and family.

You will be bloody fantastic!

Never under estimate the healing powers of time! You will definitely wake up one morning, feel silly for all the 9 things above and will realise you are just human and that's ok!

Now go and live your life the way you want it to be, and one day the right person will come along and they will sweep you off your feet and you'll live happily ever after*

Hopeful

xxx

* Or you'll just repeat the 10 steps above - either way YOU'RE OK!

Outfit Post #28

Hello Lovlies,

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend! Personally, I don't even know where mine has gone - I've been super busy since Friday celebrating my Brother's 18th birthday and seeing my friends. Ready to do it all again as of tomorrow!

Here are some of my outfits over last week;

Jumper - Topshop, Shirt - River Island, Trousers and Necklace - Primark & Shoes - Office

This particular morning I was having a stress about what to wear and wasn't 'feeling' wearing a skirt and heels, so wanted to find something casual and comfy. I'll be honest, this outfit isn't very 'me' and I didn't feel great in it, but I felt comfy and that is what I needed. On closer inspection after posting this outfit to Instagram, I realised these trousers make me look very small! Not what I want at all. However, it is always good to try something different! 

Pinafore - River Island @ ASOS, Shirt - Primark, Frilly socks - Primark and Shoes - Office

I'm a fan of the Monochrome look at the moment and completely by accident. I wear black, A LOT! You just can't go wrong with it and you can always find something to go with black. This is one of my favourite things I have ever bought, and it's definitely a 'go to' piece! The pinafore can be dressed with a anything - a shirt, t-shirt or crop top and looks pretty effortless!

 

Hat - Ebay, Cardigan - H&M, Dress - Asos and Shoes - Topshop

This is one of my all time favourite dresses! It is made from a jersey material so not only does it look good, it feels so comfy on! I've mentioned a few times I love the 50s era and fashion, so I try and work it into my wardrobe as much as possible. I like to mix new with old to keep it fresh.

Polo neck - Primark, Skirt - Fred's Boutique and Shoes - Topshop

I was feeling super inspired this day by Grease after having a trip to the drive in cinema to see it! I love what they wear in that film, and could recite all the dialogue and songs off by heart! This was definitely a 'feel good' outfit and showed off my curves in all the right ways - which is ALWAYS a good thing!

Peplum - New Look, Trousers - River Island, Shoes - Topshop and Necklace - DPs

I love trousers. I think they are the perfect thing to put on when you're not sure what to wear, they always look good with any sort of top and can be dressed up or down. These are my old faithful black pants, I've had them since I was about 16yo and have struggled to find another pair since. River Island are very good at making trousers for women as they are usually a great length and fit! 

Jumper - Topshop, Skirt - Matalan & Shoes - Topshop

Pretty plain Jane outfit this particular day, and pretty dark colours! I love this leather pencil skirt, the best bit is its not restricting so I can move around pretty good in it! Plus, it was a bargain at £12! Pencil skirts are easily my favourite things to wear, as they go with everything and can be dressed smart or casual.

So, that was my week of outfits! Hope you liked them :)

Hopeful

xxx