Hello Lovelies,
It's been a long time since I did a Motivational Monday blog post.
I no longer want to apologise for my lateness - I have come to the conclusion that, sometimes, I don't have the motivation myself to motivate others (human beings, eh?) so when I do blog... I want to make sure it's something meaningful and relevant to what I have heard people say/discuss. How can you motivate the motivatee?
Today's Motivational Monday is all about body image. A topic that surrounds are everyday being and our day to day lives. A topic that I, personally, have strong opinions about, and today, I wish to share them with you.
Over the years, from the ages of around 13 until now 21, I have struggled with my body image.
I have had moments of sheer weakness, self-loathing and disregarding myself as a 'fat, ugly mess'.I have had moments of strength and feelings that I have overcome my demons and I am happy with who I am and the way I look.
I have also had moments where I seem to knock myself back down again and have to start from scratch.
The main word in this sentences is 'I'.
No one else makes you feel this way or makes you see yourself as a 'fat, ugly mess' - sure there are people in your lives who make it very difficult to see anything else but that comment and who fuel your negativity and tear you down rather than build you up. But ultimately, you are the only person who allows yourself to feel, act and think this way.
Over the years, I have taken it upon myself to be more positive. Be more proactive with my attitudes towards myself and other women. Be more happy and confident with what I have and not what I haven't.
So, there are two words I like to think of when looking at body image. Lots of people may disagree but a lot of people make agree, and if it changes some people's perception on the way they see themselves and their attitude then I know I have done what I was supposed to do.
The two words?
Understanding
and
Acceptance
Many people would say it's about changes. Changes in your attitude and changes in your mindset. Changes in your diet and exercise. Nope - the only changes you need to make are the ones I'm going to talk about right now.
Ok, so I bet many people when they see the word understanding would assume it's quite a patronising statement to make. That we need to understand about body shape, but we do. Body image is an education. A lesson that needs to be learnt as soon as possible, and with the right tools and teachers, can be a very easy topic to grasp and understand.
You must learn to understand your body shape. I would say I was a mix between a pear shape and an hourglass shape - which has it's good and bad points. This means I have a smaller upper body (small waist, fairly slimmer tummy and slimmer hips) but a huge ass (that could rival JLOs and Kimmy K) and pretty damn chunky thighs/calfs but my shoulders and hips are the same width apart which is wear the hourglass comes into play. So, over the years of self loathing and wishing I have slimmer legs, a more toned tummy and a smaller bum - one day I came to understand that that wasn't my body shape and never will be. If I was meant to be a skinny minnie, then I would be. I have fluctuated between sizes 8 - 14 and have found myself at a happy medium of a fairly healthy size 10 (I could probably do with losing a few inches for my BMI but I love cake too much!). It doesn't matter how much I exercise or eat healthily or how many inches I lose - I remain the same size. Comparing yourself to women who are not the same or have a similar body shape to you is automatically setting yourself up for a fall and a negative frame of mind. Look up to women who are curvy, or have a big bum or big boobs, or skinny legs! It doesn't matter whether you're a size 6 or a size 16 you have to UNDERSTAND your body shape and UNDERSTAND that you are who you are, if you were meant to look like someone else or be a different size you would be. A healthy mindset and an understanding of your body shape will give the best and positive step forward to accepting who you are.
Which is where acceptance comes into it.
Once you understand your body shape, find clothes/underwear that suit you and your figure you can move onto acceptance. Accepting yourself and others around you. By doing this will you (practically) stop comparing yourself to others. In my opening paragraph I mentioned how I could never write a motivational post without feeling motivated about a particular, relevant issue that I know affects many people. I also posed the question how can you motivate the motivatee? And I ask this question quite often, as I am very passionate about motivational speakers and looking for new role models, well it's easy... They're everywhere you look. My personal favourite is Instagram - its so easy to find fashion, beauty and motivational bloggers just at the click of a button! I follow so many plus size models and bloggers who provide me with inspiration every single day. I just think, why on earth would I compare and look up to women who are super fit or super skinny? Those women are equally as fabulous and they look incredible, but, I'm not super fit or super skinny so why would I look for motivation/positivity from women who look nothing like me! Be realistic and accept the body you have been given because you are beautiful, and there's no one in the world who can tell you different other than yourself.
We always want what we can't have. I'm not going to sit here and write that by doing both these things you will automatically love yourself and never have a bad day! Jeez, I still have my strops and fat days - ask anyone of my friends, they can be more often than not, but the fact I understand my body shape and accept who I am, it's so much easier to bounce back. I'll put on a dress and feel sexy, slim and happy with my body. Or someone will compliment me on what I am wearing which will automatically put a spring in your step - or you'll even find someone who finds you attractive even on days where you don't think/feel you are or decided not to wear as much make-up or wear baggy, scruffy, comfy clothes! And another thing, if you don't learn to understand and accept your body shape how can you have fun with fashion? After embracing my big bum and tiny waist, I now love (not all the time, like I say, I still have fat days) wearing pencil skirts and tight fitted dresses which show off my assests to the best of its ability.
Fashion has always meant to be fun not a chore! How can you possibly have fun if you're obsessing over looking like someone else! Be you because everyone else is already taken and simply because no one is better at being you than you!
Hopeful
xxx
