Motivational Monday #18

I'm going to get started straight away...

Do you know what we're obsessed with?

No, not looks.

No, not money

No, not love

Age.

We, as a society, as a generation are obsessed with age.

I hold my hands up and confess - I too, have been one of those who have let my age define me or let my age be a main concern, rather than living for the now.

I, like many, many others (including people I know) have allowed age to become a barrier and it's own goal when it comes to our lives and how we live them. We must strive to be a certain person, be somewhere or do something by a certain age.

I must be engaged by the time I'm 25

I must own my own house by the time I'm 30

I must be in my dream job by 40

I have to have children by the time I'm 28

If you're sat there either agreeing with any of these statements or have had moments where you have thought the same thing or something similar - then you too, have been caught up in the whirlwind of needing to be something or be somewhere by a certain age.

We need to stop.

Since when has it been ok for others and ourselves to pressurise or torment one another to be married, engaged, parents, owning our own homes, in a perfect career, travel etc... by a certain age?

All the things I have listed above are things we all want. They are all things we strive towards and feel are the next steps/levels in our lives by certain points.

Be ambitious.

Be determined.

Make goals and dreams.

Do whatever it takes to get to where you want to be.

Be whoever you want to be and take all the steps you feel necessary to get there.

Just don't put a final end to them all. Don't set an age limit.

Don't let your age define you.

If you're not married by the time you're 25 - fine!

If you don't own your own home by the time you're 30 - fine!

If you still haven't found out what you want to do with your life or what career you want - fine!

Haven't travelled enough - fine!

Haven't found the man/woman of your dreams - fine!

You're fed up with your life and need to do something new - fine!

These are all FINE!

You are FINE!

These things will happen. We just need to let them when they are supposed to happen, not when we think they should happen.

Your age does not define you, your life or what you do with it/how you live it. It's just a number.

I have been that person who has put myself under a lot of pressure, and eventually sent myself into a world full of stress, anxiety and upset because I couldn't think of a way of how to do something or be somewhere by the time I was a certain age. 

I had started my new job and felt the need to do something incredible with my money. I set myself a goal of owning my own house by the time I was 23/24 years old - that's only 2-3 years away. I was determined that this was what I was supposed to do. But then I realised I'm SO young (even though sometimes I don't feel or act like it) if I bought a house that young, on my own, that house would define me. I wouldn't be able to go out with my friends, or buy new clothes or go on holiday as this would be the only thing I would be able to afford, and I wasn't prepared to lose my 20s over it. So, I decided that I'm still going to be sensible and put my money away, and one day I WILL own my own home, but not right now. 

When I do own my own home, it will be because it is the right time and place for me. Not because of how old I am. I know we all get a little stressed out and upset sometimes over not being somewhere or being someone who we thought we were going to be. We all like to plan our future, and now we have one and that's good. It's good to have plans, dreams and goals. But just let them happen naturally. If you want something so bad it will happen, because you want it too and will stop at nothing to get it. Not because you're at a certain age in your life and you feel you should have it or it should have happened.

Chill.

Everything will work out.

Right now, I couldn't care less whether I wasn't married

whether I owned my own home or not

Or was in my dream job

by the time I was 100 as long as I was happy, healthy and surrounded by people I love. 

And I am. 

I am happy,

I am healthy,

And I am surrounded by the most incredible people who make me smile every single day.

Surely, that matters more? 

So, stop getting so bogged down with being somewhere or being someone by the time you're 25, 30 or 40 - just enjoy the life you have right now and appreciate the moments and people you have in your life as they are more important.

Enjoy your life.

Hopeful

xxx