Motivational Monday #20

Ok, so before I start my Motivational Monday post I want to take the time out to say...

WOOHOO!

Not only is this my 20th Motivational Monday post, it is also my 100th post on my blog!

How amazing is that?

It feels great to overcome big milestones - although I do not blog as often as I probably should, to get to 100 posts is pretty impressive and I am proud of myself for how far I have come since my first ever post. I think you'll agree my more recent ones have been much better.

Anyway, onto the motivating.

So, the topic for this post came to me after a night out that I had on Saturday for a friends birthday. I know what you're thinking, what on earth is this going to be about if the topic was influenced by a night out. 

It's something we all do. It's something we should be shameful for doing but we're only human.

When I was out on Saturday night, a man came up to me and my friend and asked us to dance. He came across all innocent but my defence radar sprung to life as this man was old enough to be my dad. I politely declined and said I didn't think it was appropriate. However, my friend (who was the birthday girl) had other ideas and decided to dance, so I went with more as a supervisor not as a participant. As we were dancing the man he showed us his left hand and placed onto his finger was a wedding ring, to which he clarified this by saying "I'm Married!"

Game over.

I was immediately disgusted and disappointed in this man, whom I did not know.

My initial thoughts were that he was cheating on his wife or up to no good being in a club at his age, with girls half his age. I also felt very sorry for his wife, who would have been sat at home wondering where he is or knowing where he was and had no say in the matter. It dampened my mood. My faith in humanity slipped and it took away all hope I had that many people are still happily married/wouldn't cheat on their significant others.

Later on in the evening, he came and sat next to me. Complemented me on my outfit and said how pretty I was. My stomach turned. Had he forgotten he had just told me he was married. I'm not sure how all women are, but that was of no interest to me. However, I am a polite person and this man clearly sat down to talk, nothing else. So we engage in conversation.

How wrong was I.

He expressed how much he loved his wife and how she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He had a 12 year old son who was the apple of his eye. He worked in a successful IT company and was out with his work colleagues for a girls hen do. He was there merely to support his colleague and have a good time on a Friday night. 

I felt ashamed.

I felt miserable

I couldn't believe I had judged this man so quickly, before I even knew anything about him or before he could tell me his story.

The girl who doesn't believe in first impressions and gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, had completely contradicted her own beliefs. 

I judged that man based on one minor detail. He gave me solid advice for my career and expressed his beliefs in how he had a feeling I would be very successful. He told me I was definitely a people person and could easily and comfortably talk to anyone. He said he could tell I was a hard worker and put 100% into everything I did. He was right. He didn't judge me, he allowed me to talk and listened to what I said and based judgements on my story, what I was telling him. Not from the way I was dressed, or what I was drinking or what music I danced to.

The old saying 'never judge a book by its cover' became some what of a fact, rather than just a ambiguous statement. 

Don't get me wrong.

Judging people is something we all do, and sometimes we can't help. As I've said before we're only human.

However, as humans we also have the right to control what we do and what we say, before we do and say it. So, that is something we should do more often. Think before we judge.

Giving someone the benefit of the doubt no longer exists, everyone is quick to judge someone as they do not want to be seen as the inferior. Whether you judge someone on their size, where they work, what car they drive, their physical appearance, the friends they have, the way they dress etc... it doesn't define them. Their story isn't told through how they look or what they do, it's how they tell you.

I have learnt from my mistakes. I am going to make a conscious effort to not judge anyone before I know them. I'm not a saint, far from it but I am always willing to better myself as a person to ensure others around me feel good about themselves.

I think that is something everyone should do.

Surround yourself with people who do not judge you, so then you know how to react and feel towards others. The best way to find out whether your friends judge you or not, is to do something really great and to do something really stupid, because no matter what they will react the same to each situation. They will not judge or pass a comment, they will not make you feel bad or inferior to them. Surround yourself with those people, be positive and make that positive shine through the way you act and react to others.

To the man I met on Saturday night - I'm sorry!

Hopeful

xxx